Inspired by Brené Brown
To be seen. Noticed. Wanted. There is a deep longing in each of our souls to be included. To have others want to spend time with us, to get to know us as we truly are. But that requires us to show up, put ourselves out there and be seen. And frankly, that can be a hard thing to do.
I’ve been reading (okay, listening) to Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability and whole-heartedness. So many of the truths she reveals in her research and expounds upon in her writing ring true in my own experience. I just finished listening to her talk on the Gift of Imperfect Parenting and felt both inspired and challenged to continually re-examine how we are raising our own children and how we want them to experience the world around them.
The "new" kids
So it was really encouraging to me that just this past week I saw several examples of kids reaching out to include my own children – the “new” kids. And it makes my mama heart so happy. Moving to a new place where in many ways we are the outsiders can be challenging. We’re living life differently from many of the other families in the community – homeschooling, attending a different church, not working traditional jobs in town…and all that can feel isolating at times. But then I am reminded of how much we are included, even in simple, subtle ways.
Included on the court
Manila has a great open gym program a couple nights a week and I’ve started teaching REFIT dance fitness classes there on Thursday nights. Often our older kids come with me and spend the evening running around, chasing each other and let’s be honest, occasionally picking on each other. This past week there were several junior high boys there playing sports and our son was looking longingly toward them. Even though they had never met him before, one of the boys called out that this new little kid was going to be on his team and he signaled over to our son, asking him to come join him on the court. And just like that, the feeling of being noticed and included.
Just a few days later as the Labor Day festivities in town were wrapping up, another group of boys were playing a pick-up game of baseball in the park. Again, they called out to our son to see if he wanted to play. They proceeded to not only include him, but set him up for success in the game to ensure he could hit it and run the bases. He was on cloud nine!
Simple acts
While tweens often get a bad rap for being self-absorbed, cruel and petty, I have been so impressed with the kids we’ve encountered thus far in Manila. They have gone out of their way to get to know and include my kids in activities and look after them when they are playing in a larger group. When we walk through the halls at school dropping our oldest off for music or PE, several kids call out hello to both our son and daughter – making her feel just as noticed and special.
Focusing on building character
It’s been a good reminder to me as we kick off this homeschooling year that intentionally building in time to work on character traits is so important. I want my own kids to also exhibit kindness, gentleness, love, patience…and not just in our home, but in the community. While it’s easy to feel like we should just “pick up” on those traits, we don’t come by it naturally! Our own selfish instincts have to be refined and reigned in and who better to train up a child than the parents?
So we’ll be tweaking our curriculum schedule a bit to find more ways to intentionally build in character training so that hopefully my kids will be the ones reaching out to the new kids in town, including them, making them feel wanted in a new place.
Absolutely love this… it’s one of the things I most desire for my kiddo. Treasure the moments your little ones are embraced by others!